Sudden Clarity Idiot

ITS CALLED A MOTHER YOU MORON.

Throes of Even More Clothes

I felt successful until someone said it didn't count unless you put it away...

-lets just take a moment to appreciate that I will be wearing clean clothes, but haters gotta hate.

...so I shoved the clothes in some drawers.

Even more of a productive day. 

Throes of Clothes

In typical fashion, or rather non fashion, I have no clothes ie they are all dirty. My drawers are empty. My hamper is full, my floor is fuller. Its down to the point where you wear bikini bottoms for underwear and start wondering if the fat clothes that weren't donated maybe can be salvaged....

Hark! The closet that holds the jackets! Not just jackets. I am wearing a button down plaid shirt with pearlized buttons. I look like a cowboy. A very nice clean cowboy. all is right in the world. My dignity lives another day.

***After wearing this shirt for...several days, one of my friends commented it had small holes in the back. Just failurized that success. Should have gone with the fat clothes.

AcciDENTAL.

As anyone who reads my blog knows, dental health is very important to me.

Except I did.

I accidentally threw up in my best friend's sink.

It was utterly horrific for the both of us...at least it wasn't my sink.

The things I do for hygiene--that probably didn't help

Back to the Basics!

I have failed my loyal blog reader(s). 

This new year brings the resolution that I will return this blog to its formal glory of dental reports, zombie survival plans, dyslexic challenges, and the dramatics that make up the life of a single sarcastic 25 year old who is perhaps just and only absurd. 

New (same as every) Year Resolutions: 

• Keep a budget
• Loose weight
• Drink less (fancy) coffee

New Resolution for this year:

• WRITE ALL THE THINGS!

Shut Up Already

And people wonder why the English speaking world and I are/am having problems with grammar?

THERE ARE TWO MANY OPTIONS.

or is it TOO?

Wholesale Darkness

Daylight Savings? More like darkness on wholesale.

It is 5pm, not bedtime!  What is this magical trickery? 

The worst part? Winter is actually coming.