Life and Trying Times

In Alaska there are many many ways to entertain yourself on the FML (Fish Money Line). Decide how to spend every second of your 900 second break, listening to the love lives of teenagers, or yelling at someone less competent than yourself. My favorite entertainment was telling stories about my dyslexic brother. and all the dyslexic jokes he doesn't get. Because the only thing better than a dyslexic joke, is a dyslexic joke a dyslexic kid doesnt get.

• A man walks into a bra.
• DNA stands for National Dyslexic Association
• Did you hear about the dyslexic satan worshipper? He sold his soul to santa. 

Dyslexia is not funny, its hilarious. 

Or at least it is in the middle of a 16 hour shift at 4am working off of 5 hours of sleep.

Summer Fail.

Enough said.

YOLO?  i chose to spent my summer in alaska and/or unemployed and living at my parents house.

AND i gained weight!

Why am i allowed to plan my own life?

gaaaah!

Fear Change?

HEY! Whoa there. What does this even mean?!

...I pick up pennies and change all the time.

I don't know what is worse, the fact that I don't know what stereotype they are talking about or that I am fullfilling some unknown stereotype. I'm just a person who likes picking up pennies!

Socially awkward penquin? Destitute penguin.

Childcare Catastrophe

I was babysitting, making pasta for lunch, when I heard the screams of the four year old and then the sound of liquid hitting the floor...

two year old sister + kegger fridge = free flowing tap of biblical proportions.

RAIN DOWN liquid fermented grains! Down upon this dry and thirsty linoleum!
Make the babysitter clean it up!! since forcing children to clean up alcohol seems wrong somehow...

towels, towels soaking up beer everywhere.

Internet Wins

For three whole weeks

I miss the Olympics. This was so satisfying. I could google "medal count" and the answer with visual graphics would be there. I could even google "metal count" and still get answers. Along with any sport, a description of it and the results along with Olympic record and world record.

I felt so succesful. My googly skills were up to par.

aaaaand it was an illusion.

Russian to Appologize

Российские друзья,

Я вас обманули, я обещал, что если вы читали мой блог, я бы прийти вверх с должности только для вас. Я не вам в течение трех месяцев. Даже несмотря на то, что единственное, что я знал о России огорчены: Анна Каренина, Наполеона, уничтожив зимы, рулетка, Сибирь и пока я не послал маяком надежды в литерал темно и замороженные мир.

Я был на Аляске, (это было частью проблемы), и хотя я возможно не смог увидеть вашу страну от моей скромной обители, я думал о вас каждый раз в некоторое время. Я надеюсь, вам будет делать то же самое и думать о мне и возможно даже читать мой блог.

Я постараюсь сделать лучше, и быть менее погружена в себя, в отличие от этих русской матрешки.

Sleep Sober

This is not a problem.

The one thing working in an alaskan cannery will teach you is the art of sleeping all day and all night, and then all day again.