Mind? Collapsed

I'm not sure if I find this inspirational or appalling in its level of overlooked insight. 

Complete diet rehaul: Effective eventually. 

I finally got the memo about pints of ice cream needing to last longer than one sitting. Just how long are chocolate boxes supposed to last? Two days or three? I personally will even eat the chocolates I don't like. Unless its salt and pepper flavored. That is like engulfing your tongue into a catbox. so nasty. 

I really want to know how to make those chocolates last--mystery of the skinny peoples reveal thyself to me!! Give up your sweet perfection of your twiggy talent! My pancreas begs it of you. As well as my teeth.

S2-B2

So, in an effort to get to the museum in a faster fashion on a holiday weekend. I am taking someone with me.

Car pool lane win!

....Fail.

I figure if the Apocalypse happens while I'm on the road I will have enough reading material, clothing, and tea/granola bars to survive or start my own Mercantile.

Now I'm going to have to clean my ENTIRE car so the person doesn't think I'm trashy. My car is named shitty shitty bang bang (S2-B2), and I take artistic license.

West Coast

It took me 20 minutes on google and youtube to figure out that the song I heard in the bagel place was "West Coast" by Coconut Records. Out of the about 50 words of the song, I remembered: Suitcase

THATS RIGHT. Suitcase. and only suitcase. and I FOUND it.

BOW TO  MY SUPERIOR GOOGLY SKILLZZZZ

I AM the success kid, and I know it.

Testy Times

Had a test in class. Which I actually did reading for. and I consulted the study guide. For a second year senior? god status right there. 

I got a 'D' --the grade, not the multiple choice answer. Which isn't a big deal except the amount of times I have gotten a D is the same amount of times that someone has blown up the ocean.

 NEVER.

I guess some idiot will try at some point. I just was hoping it wasn't going to be me.

Although, Emily Jane: Ocean Exploder does have a certain ring to it.

People of Russia

Уважаемые люди России,

Он пришел к мое внимание, что вы читаете мой блог. Спасибо. Вы внесли мне ощущение, как будто я международные знаменитости в стране, которая охватывает несколько часовых поясов, хотя я, вероятно, меньше читателей, чем у вас есть часовых поясов.

Кроме того, водка – один мнение спиртов, я по-прежнему можно пить и за это я ценю вашу страну, хотя круг жирафы оказался ложным. Однако в последнее время уменьшается ваших читателей. Мне нужно набирать больше мужчин вашей страны для чтения и возможно даже комментарий на моем блоге. Если так, я обещаю написать пост в России когда-либо неделю... или два... или месяц.

Преданно и отчаянно твое.

Dead Dino

This nugget of wisdom would have been better left unsaid.

SHUT UP Philosoraptor!!! Do not give me cause to procrastinate about the next three weeks! This is not a good time to practice virtues that boarder on vices! No wonder dinosaurs are dead, they probably waited too long to get on the ark. Now look at them, fossilization station. Guess someone missed the boat.

Strike One

Unfortunately when it comes to my ceaseless cacophony of contentious quarreling about my continuous classes (Brilliant sentance, I even like the fact the quarreling fits because it has a k sound. Legendary Level 'litteration right there.) I am not exemplifying the canis lupis. More like the Whinis Dupus.

Papers I will write you like I was born! Screaming and covered in blood!!!

by my calculations I only have to write 40 pages until I am finished with all papers. Be about it! BE about it, and I whine off into the sunset...

ZAP Round II

Walking Dead Season 2. What a wild ride. I am freaking out. Like things are intense. It is deep and it is real. It is causing me anxiety.  

I can't take knowing what happens but I cant take not knowing! Season Three get here already!!!

Suspense on screen and suspense with the stopgap....I'm alliterating its so apprehensious!!

It's (literally) tearing out my heart when I'm with you. But when we are apart I feel it too.... 

Serious Problems of the Senior Variety

Realized that I only have three weeks of classes left. And that my internship/independent study class projects have not been completed.... Freakage. Freakage everwhere. It was time to get serious and go Visit The Professor. This included climbing four flights of stairs. if you know to what building I'm referring you know I am not exaggerating. I nearly suffocated from the lack of oxygen in the atmosphere.

After verbiage with the Professor, I have three 4-7 page papers. 

Thats what I thought. Just cut my total writing down by 9 pages. basically saved myself a dissertation. still have to write an encycolpedia longer than the history of the human race. 

Double fail. Triple Fail. faility fail fail weekend fail. 

over reaction fail. 

Man Up and Throw Down

I think this totally speaks for its self. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps of the hipster boots or pirate boots that you do not wear and keep going and finish the next two weeks or so help me I will strangle myself with my own honor cords while I calculate out the lowest possibly final grade I can get to not fail out. That possibly was the longest sentence I have ever written.

Senioritis: The firstiest of first world problems.

Day of Moms

Seriously. Mothers of the world. Get with the program, do you know how "get along with all your siblings" is unlikely and impossible (not to mention torturous)? You could have taken me for a fifty dollar gift certificate.

Now I will feel guilty when extracting the iron first of justice on any of my younger siblings.

and i'm being a whiney bag on your holiday. double fail.

True Life Situations

Nearly pitched a fit when someone tried to sit in my seat. Thankfully my roommate headed them off at the sitdown and prevented The War of Chairs in which I go all Godzilla and take back what is rightfully mine by extracting revenge on people much smaller than myself.

With all the upcoming changes in my life you thinking I'm going to let some random steal the one piece of furniture placement that I have control over? HA. Unfortunately I had to sit there for the entire 2 hours of class. Kinda wish I had let her take it and stormed out. Senioritis Fail.

Love Labor Lost

A few days ago I journey'd to my family's homestead to celebrate the anniversary of the birth of my youngest sibling a decade and a year ago. As I sat at the table I quizzed sister numbero two-o if she had found Her One True Love. She has not. Paying all the money for private school without a pay off? Cost benefit analysis says inferno nay to that.

My mother retorted about my lack of the same thing. I assured her that the next two years of grad school I would try twice as hard as previous. Meaning: Not At All. Ring By Spring, I intentionally thwart you!

Bwhahaha.

American Choppers

I hate this. with all the hate that a soul can possess. It leads me down a path of questioning that can give me those nightmares where all my teeth have fallen out.

1) If I decide to eat again do I really have to floss?
2) What if I just drink pop or juice, it has sugar...but will that get lodged between my teeth?
3)What if this is the one time that something gets stuck between my teeth and it is the intensification my tooth needs to go into full blown cavity status?
4) AM I GOING TO DIE? 

Impossible to win this one. Flossing Anxiety. Add that to the list of First World Problems I have and hate.   

A Wail of Wantingness

Dear Classes + Spring x (Senior year^2),

I HATE YOU AND I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU.

I have survived over 223 credit hours and I only have a MONTH left. NINE (9) Class days and I'm done. I will NEVER come back until Grad school. Stop taunting me with freedom and nice weather!!!

Motivation, do not leave me in my time of need, harken to my cries! Otherwise classes will be all Gandalf like and, "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

do not let me fail. 

Senioritis

I have second year senioritis. It is so much worse that first year senioritis. First year senioritis was all about incompleting classes. Graduation means I actually have to finish everything.

All I have due for tomorrow is a one page paper. A ONE PAGE PAPER.

I will seriously be up all night. Utterly Utterly Ridiculous. Freshman level angst right here.

Grad Schooling

This is eerily accurate...

I GOT INTO GRAD SCHOOL!

Two more years of tuition payments. Two more years of classes. Two more years of kicking assignments in the teeth!

Damn it feels good to be an impending sleep deprived grad student.

Dental Debate

Had an in depth conversation about oral regimens last night. About weather flossing or brushing comes first. I was under the impression that you floss first to dislodge particulates and then brush to sweep them out. However, apparently this is a hotly contested order. Comments were flying on Yahoo Ask.

According to the credible source of the American Dental Association, it does not matter which happens first AS LONG AS you ACTUALLY floss. (emphasis/paraphrasing mine). However, in England the British Dental Association advises flossing first.

No one advises flossing with broken glass, 100% chance of gums bleeding with that one.