Money Money Money

The age old problem.

No Fish = No Job = No Money = A Really Bad Time 

I'm basically having summer camp at my parents house.  I need a job. I so need a job. My Bank account should be so bulimic is barfing money at me, instead of its current anorexic state in which it needs the vital nutrients of dollar dollar bills. 

Send Jobs, or Money!

Freakin Weekend

Everyone looks forward to the weekend. Unless you work weekends, or you have to go visit your inlaws, clean your house, or watch your favorite team lose the superbowl. Weekends are an onion ring in your fry box. Except when you dont have them. Ever. When it is always winter, never Christmas. Always Friday, Never Saturday.

I lived in the land of NakNarnia, I went through the portal and BAM. My life was over.

well not literally, because i didnt exactly work with that guy, but there were several of them around, and one definitely liked my roommate. and she definitely freaked out about it. but let me tell you, all of them definitely knew how to gut salmon.

Unknown Day

Normally this only happens during summer, unemployment, christmas break, long vacations, or crossing the international date line. 

In the cannery, when the sun is always out, 2/3rds of each day is working, weekends are a myth on par with narwhals, and the date changes at 10pm every night for fish packaging this predicament is an everyday occurrence. it might be wensday or it might be wensday a week from the wensday you think it is. in fact it might be 2013 and no one has told you. 


Just don't miss laundry day! or then you will be confused and dirty. 

Cannery Problems

When you have 8 hours off of work per day, every minute is critical. Let me rephrase that. When you work 8 hours and have 16 hours off perday you can do WHATEVER you want. when its the other way around, certain things mandatorily disappear from your life. Calling your mother, the internet, and applying make up are givens. Next, the important things disappear from your life. Flossing and eating breakfast.

Then it gets apocalypse/Barn Full Of Zombies Bad. As five hours of sleep becomes the norm, one tends to start forgetting things. like how often they wash their hair or it's even necessary. Hats become standard not only because Alaska is cold but because the state of the hair is that bad. 


 One day in a moment of truth, (day 5 I think) I asked one of the 17 year old friends how my hair looked, "it looks like you havent washed or brushed it in a very very long time." when a 17 year old boy basically states with confidence, "you are a disgusting slob, I can totally tell." its time to act fast and spend four vital minutes shampooing. Or never take off your hat ever again.

Where the Wild Things Are

I'm not sure what kind of problem this is...first world, third world, imaginary world.... but I just want all yalls to know that while in Alaska I may not have met the Alpacapillar but I had many other encounters that has caused me to grow as a person and as a consumer of bloody marys. 

We have nothing to fear but the destruction of the human race via alpacaflys. Better click in your imaginary seatbelts ladies and gentlemen. Because I have been to a place where dreams are crushed, and I have lived to blog my tales. 

Back Again

Hello Civizilation. It is I, the child lost to the Alaskan fish fields has returned.


I have returned with my hopes and dreams realigned, my body sleep starved, and knowing the first five words of Ice Ice Baby in Spanish.

Its good to be back in the first world, the real first world.


 I saw Fight Club in Alaska (Stop already with your patronizing, no I had not seen it yet, and yes it did change my life, and yeah its every body's favorite movie--not just yours) That whole alaskan experience was Tyler Durden-esque, now I realize that America is more a promised land than I ever knew, I feel taller, every bite of ice cream and real Chinese food tastes better, my education is more valuable and my parents house is a palace, and the internet connection is strong.


I miss the fish friends, but I have a life time of stories. and I need to go back to bed.