Oh Paranoid Parrot...
I'm not this bad. I promise. I may have had a bad spell sophomore year of college where I looked like a doomsday prepper or a food bank with all my canned goods but my fear of starving was realistic (to me). That said, does anyone every wonder how long someone could hole up in a costco? Because that is where I'd go if the zombies came. I just hope they also sell can openers otherwise you'd be up fecal matter fjord. I don't think costco sells guns either...walmart might be the way to go, although that place is its own type of apocalypse. Walmartians are a special type of crazy.
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